Re: KEYSER !!-Stop Picking On Innocent Seagulls

Posted by Keyser Soze (205.188.209.12) on February 14, 2003 at 21:59:48:

In Reply to: KEYSER !!-Stop Picking On Innocent Seagulls posted by Why Chat on February 10, 2003 at 18:13:18:

Dear Warriors of the Ether;

Points to remember: Seagull feathers will be considered as negotiable instruments of currency as will balls of string and gum wrappers in the coming 'new,new' economy.
Also, for benefit of all PETA afficianados. Although a remedial occupation such as seagull pluckery was suggested for these collection lawyer intestinal parasites, no animals of any kind were harmed in this metaphorical device. After all, it is difficult for anyone to catch a seagull, particularly collection agents whose physical regimen consists of slumping in a comfy chair in a computer strewn office in the sub-basement of a crack house. The mere exertion of lunging for seagulls would probably bust open the esophageal varices of these pre-cirrhotic ghouls.
Also, and most important, seagulls will glady dive for live crabs and fish, and will indeed swarm about the poop decks of fishing draggers so as to pluck inedible fish entrails for their meals. Yet seagulls surely know better than to eat actual detritus, particularly that variety which wears its hair gassed down, dressed in polyester biz-suits, and is generally found in the halls of collection agencies. Nope,nope,even seagulls are smart enough to stay away from contaminated life forms, and thus avoid typhus.

Affectionately,
Mr. Soze
"There is no Keyser Soze!" - Dean Keaton
"Who is Keyser Soze?" - Keyser Soze

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