Re: dealing with Rosewood Hudson?

Posted by Keyser Soze (205.188.209.12) on March 19, 2003 at 23:56:00:

In Reply to: dealing with Rosewood Hudson? posted by scared on March 19, 2003 at 12:12:03:

Keep any and all cash under a mattress, by all means protect your assets, tell these cretins nothing and let them guess the rest. Collection agents are proof that in fact it is possible to crossbreed gibbons with cockroaches.
An "Investigator" looking at your assets? By all means send a notice that they have violated the Gramm-Leach-Bliley Act, sections 6804 - 6810. Send complaint to the FTC. Tell them they are not to share any of your information with anyone at all without your consent, and they do not have your consent.
Their 'investigator' probably uses the newest high-tech tools of his trade, just like on CSI MIami. You know, the fifth of rhotghutt whisky in his basement desk drawer and a fresh copy of the Racing Form. Or perhaps if he's expecially literary, a copy of BigUn's Magazine. What BS Artists. An asset search search costs money which these dungbeetles can ill afford to spend. If they persist with such baloney, ask if they've found your copy of the Hebrew Scriptures, popularly called the Old Testament. Tell 'em it's real valuable 'cause it's a limited edition signed by Moses himself. Fred Moses. They'll probably ask you to sign it over thinking you're for real.
One cheezebag collector down dis a way hear actually sends out letters signed by some dope with the official title of investigator. The debts fall below the amount which even qualifies them for small claims Kangaroo Court.
The Hebrew Scriptures state that for some offenses the perpetrator must pay back seven times. And indeed, you could pay back seven times what you owe, if only you had a penny for every line of pure, polyunsaturated B.S. that these pathetically vicious collectors spew from their toothless decrepit pie-holes.

With tender respect for collectors, I remain,

ever serenely,

Keyser Soze

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