Re: Court appearance What a waste of time!!

Posted by Keyser Soze (205.188.116.131) on August 11, 2004 at 21:41:45:

In Reply to: Re: Court appearance What a waste of time!! posted by Baodicea on August 11, 2004 at 14:16:46:

You draw the perfect portrait of a wannabe-collection Lawyah. Disheveled, disorganzed, dithering, dingbat sociopathic slime. He has no case.

Now, don't be surprised, and please, don't be upset, if between now and trial date, this cowflop files a Motion For Summary Judgement.

This is shorthand, telling the court that all material facts of the case are proven, he wants the judgement to which he is entitled.

In the upside-down world of CA law, he means the opposite. He's really saying he has no facts, his case is a fake, phony, fraud. He knows jolly well he doesn't deserve a judgement, save for a kick up his no doubt enormous behind. He's admitting he has no facts, can't even prove his name, let alone your case. He hopes beyond all hope you fall for his ploy and fold like a cheap suit. That way, he'll be spared the humiliation of looking like a scumbag, fake, feckless, craven, moronic, impuscent, pusillanimous pipsqueak, 'collections professional' in front of the Judge.

You may go to court a couple times. See it from this schmo's viewpoint. He has to work there, day in, day out. In front of the judge and all others present, looking like two-hundred pounds of dog-plop stuffed into a hundred pound cheapo-deluxe BizSuit.

If this piggy-doot files Motion for Summary - a standard bluff - you file an Objection to Motion for Summary, stating that the material facts of the case have not been proven, that this jerk couldn't hit his derriere with a handful of rice, that he's as useless as teats on a flounder. Come to think of it, just say he hasn't proven the facts, leave out the other stuff. But by all means, think it. The smile on your face will unsettle him, causing his poorly-glued wig to fall off while standing before the judge. His upper dentures might come loose and hit the floor. When that happens, file a Motion to Compel the Plaintiff to use Fixodent (tm), Poligrip (tm), KrazyGlue (tm), or maybe just stuff his sorry carcass down the nearest trash compactor.

Hope this helps.

Hopefully,

Keyser Soze

"With a wrecking ball..."
- Det. Lt. Ed Exley, "L.A. Confidential",
c. 1997

PS - True story, prominent politician loses election. Returns to law practice, drowning his sorrows at the local gin mill adjacent to the courthouse. At critical moment in his presentation, he throws up on the court clerk.

Truly I tell you, this fine gentleman, admired and respected by all, has more dignity, more breeding, integrity, and character in his esophageal varices, than does a collection lawyah have in his bulbous, red nose. Complete with vascular spiders, the only ones Raid (tm) can't git.

Follow Ups:

Post a Followup